Tuesday, June 8, 2010

May I be EXCUSEd?

Wow, it has been a while since my last post. I have been running....but not the kind you're thinking. Just busy with life and an almost 4 year old and starting our own business. I haven't even thought of working out. Oh wait, maybe I have but the thought leaves quickly...right along with my energy. I think being almost 40 and preggo is taking its toll. I am exhasted most days and have little or no ambition.

BUT, I will say, that I have been reflecting on my weight issues. I have been really looking at myself and all my failed attempts to lose weight. I mean don't get me wrong, I've lost over 50 lbs. at least 2 times in my life. BUT, it comes back on just like a pathetic statistic you read in a Weight Watchers magazine. I just want to lose it for good and be done with it after the baby is born.

I realized the other day while watching Dr. Oz, that I am often judgemental toward overweight people. Which I find so funny considering I don't want to be discriminated against for being fat. I saw a lady on there explaining to Dr. Oz about how she couldn't lose weight. As I listened to her, I thought, "WOW, this lady is full of excuses." And then I immediately thought....AND SO ARE YOU!!!! I have often blamed my weight on my illness and genetics. But the truth is, I am in control of what I put in my mouth. And quite frankly sometimes chocolate finds its way in there way easier than broccolli.

The last few weeks I have regretted ever saying, I would run a 5K. I have told TONS of people I am doing it. This past weekend was the Sunburst. That is the run I intend on doing next June. I gotta tell you, I saw the pictures of the runners all bunched together getting ready for take off and I almost had a panic attack. WHAT AM I THINKING? I will only have 6 months to train. And I have not run on pavement since I was 6...and I think that was to chase down the ice cream truck. Then I thought, after having a baby your uterus takes months to shrink back to normal...I will be trying to run with a swollen uterus!!!! And my C-section, incision??? What about that? Then I realized....EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES. That is why you have struggled since you were 10 with your weight.

So, as much as I would like to quit talking about running a 5K, I won't. I will be a face in the crowd next June.

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