Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Liar, Liar!

So, I was just curious...do you really weigh what your driver's license says? Or, is it the same weight you had when you were 16? I mean you did weigh that once right? Or, are you like me and ponder on the way to the DMV just how low you could go and still be believeable? But, even I know it is obvious if a cop pulls me over, he isn't falling for 135! (that is not what my licence says, I haven't weighed that since I was 7). Anyway, it amazes me how that number on the scale can cause an otherwise honest person to lie.

So, I got to thinking. Lying about your weight may seem harmless on your driver's license, BUT there are a few times in life it is never o.k to lie about your weight. This is from personal observation and experience.

You should never lie about your weight when you are getting ready to board a tiny plane and they are weighing your luggage and asking you what you weigh. I realized this on a trip to Abaco, Bahamas in 1997. If they are asking you that, THE PLANE PROBABLY ONLY CARRIES A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF WEIGHT!!!! As I stood in line with my best friend, you couldn't help but hear what the people were saying as to how much they weighed. One guy got up there and said 220. I immediately looked at my friend and said, 260 easy. Then the next person, 125, oh honey, at least 160. I got to say, I began to calculate the differences and got a little scared. THIS PLANE IS GOING DOWN CHUBBIES!! So when it came my turn to report my weight, I proudly announced 450. The guy looked at me like "yeah right" to which I replied, "I'm just making up for all of the rest of the people who are lying". The good news is the plane did not crash. I am wondering if they add a certain amount to each flight to cover the lies. OR, maybe, there is a secret scale embedded under the carpet where you stand to check in that records the truth. Either way, not a good time to lie people.

Another time would be when you are getting ready to go parasailing. I also found that out on a trip to the Carribean. My friend and I were planning on doing it tandem. We thought it would be fun to go up together. We found out after reaching the beach, their wasn't enough wind that day to have 2 people go together. Great I thought, I could actually be two people. I had this vision of the boat taking off with me attached to the sail and all I did was skip across the ocean but never get in the air. To save myself the embarrasment, I pulled aside one of the workers and said, "Look, is there enough wind to get my butt up in the air today or not?" He asked me what I weighed, AND I TOLD THE TRUTH. "No problem man, we get you up". I did notice that the "larger" people who went before me all used the same parasail. SO, they probably have a small, medium and large sail for each person according to their weight. Anyway, I did it and I went up without a problem and came down fine too. So I was happy I told the truth. If I would have been skipping across the ocean unable to get into the air I would have been mortified.

And the most important time not to lie about your weight?!! When you are getting ready to be put under anesthesia. Seriously, you don't want too little of that stuff and wake up in the middle of surgery. And, besides that, why lie when you are getting ready to go into surgery? You know they have already taken your panties and they are going to flip you around all over and your sheet will fall off so there you are all naked. And let me just say, THE NAKED BODY DON'T LIE! And you know that's the truth!


  1. bahhahahahahaha. hilarious yet extremely true. i love your blog. so funny.

  2. Good blog, Sally. Yes, I lie on my driver's license with my weight. A little bit.