Thursday, June 21, 2012

Me and my BIG mouth.

So first a disclaimer....I should probably not post after having martinis.  But oh well, so here goes.
I find myself totally mortified by ever saying I would run a 5K.  I mean literally, what the heck was I thinking?  By all accounts I should be having people bring me loads of food while I bask in my fatness in my bed (specially made to handle the enormous weight load)  I mean isn't that what morbidly super obese people do? 

Before you think I am judging those people, let me just say I am not.  I have learned in the last 10 years NEVER judge a person, because it seems as if every time I do, WHAM, I am in the same situation.  But really what was I thinking?  FAT PEOPLE SHOULD NOT RUN.  It causes issues.  I mean it is a wonder my knees and ankles haven't revolted and broken in mid run.  So this week I find myself 6 weeks away from Chubby Runner D Day.  When the thighs hit the road with others who actual consider themselves athletes.  I am freaking out.  What have I gotten myself into?
My only comfort this week was thinking of my newly signed up brother-in-law, who has decided (on a whim) he will give it a go with the rest of us.  Now the rest of us have been training, or at least unlike my brother-in-law walking to someplace other than the fridge.  I love the man but he it a total FOODIE!  With a capital F.  This is one of the reasons I love him sooooo much.  But I was thinking well at least I will beat him RIGHT?  Until my sister informed me that when he went to the track with her one evening a couple of years ago he ran the whole time she walked.  THIS IS WHEN HE SMOKED 2 packs of cigarettes a day.  He doesn't smoke anymore.  He is currently planning out where we should eat the night before the race.  He is thinking brats and beer.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  "Runners need to carb load he says". 

I find myself getting bitter.  I thought when I started running I would actually start to love it.  Which some days I do (for a brief moment)  Then I get irritated thinking of the random stranger who gazed into my cart to see some Oreos and gave me the look like "honey put those back".   Sometimes when I am hoofing it on the treadmill I think of those people and how they have no clue my 'super obese" butt was up at 5 a.m running on a treadmill while you were probably driving to McDonalds to get your two sausage biscuits. 

This whole weight thing is not fair.  And training for a 5K has proved even more unfair for this chubby girl.  My body hurts and I want to give up.  Not to mention, I continue to struggle with very little weight loss.  BUT I am doing it.  I have shaved 4 minutes off my mile.  When I started running I could only run at 3 miles an hour now I can do 4 miles an hour.  One things I dislike about myself is how bull headed I can be.  But in this case it is the driving force that keeps me running on those painful days. 

So July 28th comes quickly, and I can tell you, if my brother in law tries to pass me during the run, he will get tripped.  But I really find that unlikely when he will probably be trying to eat a brat during the run.  I love you droopy dog BUT YOU"RE GOING DOWN!!!! 

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