Sunday, July 22, 2012

Couch to 5K....two year plan!

A better name for this blog may be the morbidly obese jogger, but the Chubby Runner sounded so much nicer.  That was the first line of my first blog entry more than two years ago when I set out to run a 5K.  Who would have known what the journey would bring.  I know I didn't.  First the surprise pregnancy that landed me in the hospital having a baby two days after I turned 40.  For all of those who have been following from the beginning, my goal was to run the 5K before 40.  Well after much struggle, stops and starts, the 5K is this coming weekend.

The last few weeks have been filled with a sense of depression concerning this journey.  I have been in a funk that has been at times overwhelming.  The reasons being so many.  The fact that injuries have caused me to fall behind in my training.  And mainly the fact that I never lost a large amount of weight during the process.  This is for several reasons some self induced some not.  My main focus has been on the "here we go again" mentally that I have always had concerning my weight.  I will just say, this time there are some things that are different.  I set a goal to run a 5K.  I have fear, anxiety and self doubt about how much running I will actually do.  BUT, this time, I WILL FOLLOW THROUGH.  Regardless of the outcome.  I WILL DO THIS!  No backing out. 

I have had several people ask me the last few months, "Why are you doing this?"  I could probably answer most of it with the fact that I am doing this for selfish reasons.  For the fact that a lot of people don't think I can.  For the fact that maybe even I myself don't think it is possible.  So why will I be running this Saturday?
I will run for....
  • Every chubby person who has ever starved, made themselves vomit or abused laxatives to lose weight.
  • Every chubby person who has felt "less than" because the BMI chart showed they were "more than" they should be.
  • Every chubby person who was picked last on the playground for a sports team
  • Every chubby girl that was forced to go prom dress shopping with their skinny friends.
  • Every chubby person that was embarrassed by the fact that they couldn't climb that damn rope in gym class
  • Every chubby person who has endured stares, giggles and rude comments.
  • Every chubby person who has been forced to buy clothes labeled plus or husky.
  • Every chubby person who has cried in a dressing room.
And for every chubby person who believes they can't and listens to those nagging voices in their head that they never will.  This weekend I will.  It will take everything I have physically, but most of all it will take every bit of my mind telling me the voice in my head is wrong.  I don't know how it will end.  Whether I run, walk or crawl across the finish line, I know that I am more than a number on a scale.  The world told me I couldn't run because I was too fat, this Saturday I will prove them wrong.   

Monday, July 16, 2012

Move over Old Country theres a new Hog trough in town!!

First start right off with an apology.  Why? You ask.  Because due to the fact that the 5K I signed up for is less than two weeks away, I am in full panic mode and eating more protein than should be humanly possible and limiting all carbs, sugar and Splenda, oh and just for poops and giggles, I've given up coffee and Diet Coke (once again SIGH) for the next two weeks so I am a crabby patty.  AND that last sentence was what I believe English teachers call a run on sentence!!!!  But I don't care to fix it give me a break people.

My subject today is nothing about my training or 5K.  It is about the fact that a Golden Corral is coming to my area.  For those of you that don't know, it is a buffet restaurant.  I have never been there before but from the sounds of the chatter going around town the excitement of its impending arrival is quite the talk. 

So, let me fill you in on something a bit scandalous.  Sit down.  Take a deep breath.  Are you ready?  O.K.  here goes.  This chubby girl HATES buffets.   No more like DESPISES them.  I know it is hard to believe.  Don't get me wrong, there are times I have taken "all you can eat" to the extreme.  But usually that was in the privacy in my own home or at a family get together.  And if there was cake thats an idea a cake buffet.  That could change my mind, but I digress (fancy word)!! 

First let me state the obvious.  Everyone watches the fattys at the buffets.  BEFORE you argue with me GET REAL with yourself.  Even I in all my fatness have witnessed someone at the buffet and had a fleeting thought that they REALLY shouldn't be there.  I know the times I have gone I have had my visits to the "hog trough" counted by curious onlookers.  By the way, I refer to all buffets as hog troughs.  I even had a Asian dude tell me, "don't eat it all" when I returned  for seconds.  Oh yes, people are that rude and mean.  I think me being fat gives them an excuse to be rude.  I wanted to scream, I just wanted one more pot sticker, and some General Tao's chicken and oh some more of that vegetable low to get my veggies in. 

Another reason I hate the hog trough is the "ick" factor.  Anyone who knows me, knows I am not a germaphobe.  I would go as far at to say I would have more of a ten second rule than five.  So I am definitely not "one of those" people HOWEVER,  those plastic guards they put up are not protecting my food from the gross people of society.  The "dirties"  the I'll poo and run and not wash my hands.  The "snotties" who wipe their nose with their hands.  I have seen with my own eyes people sneeze right under the plastic guard.  I have witnessed a man have a spaghetti noodle that did not want to leave the buffet, use his own fingers to snap it off his plate back into the bin for unsuspecting diners.  I witnessed a girlfriend, get a piece of lettuce off her plate WITH her hand and toss it back into the salad bar.  Can we all say GROSS together people?

All this being said, I will occasionally let my husband, or the crowd I'm dining with talking me into the buffet.  But, the whole time I am filling my plate I am saying in my head, "don't think about it, don't think about it."  Not to mention most of the food tastes like its been frozen too long.  So this was my rant.  I must also put a disclaimer on here.  I hear The Lady and Sons which is Paula Deen's restaurant in Savannah has a buffet.  I would eat there and never complain or be grossed out.  Because I am pretty sure butter kills all bacteria in the world.