The last few weeks have been filled with a sense of depression concerning this journey. I have been in a funk that has been at times overwhelming. The reasons being so many. The fact that injuries have caused me to fall behind in my training. And mainly the fact that I never lost a large amount of weight during the process. This is for several reasons some self induced some not. My main focus has been on the "here we go again" mentally that I have always had concerning my weight. I will just say, this time there are some things that are different. I set a goal to run a 5K. I have fear, anxiety and self doubt about how much running I will actually do. BUT, this time, I WILL FOLLOW THROUGH. Regardless of the outcome. I WILL DO THIS! No backing out.
I have had several people ask me the last few months, "Why are you doing this?" I could probably answer most of it with the fact that I am doing this for selfish reasons. For the fact that a lot of people don't think I can. For the fact that maybe even I myself don't think it is possible. So why will I be running this Saturday?
I will run for....
- Every chubby person who has ever starved, made themselves vomit or abused laxatives to lose weight.
- Every chubby person who has felt "less than" because the BMI chart showed they were "more than" they should be.
- Every chubby person who was picked last on the playground for a sports team
- Every chubby girl that was forced to go prom dress shopping with their skinny friends.
- Every chubby person that was embarrassed by the fact that they couldn't climb that damn rope in gym class
- Every chubby person who has endured stares, giggles and rude comments.
- Every chubby person who has been forced to buy clothes labeled plus or husky.
- Every chubby person who has cried in a dressing room.