Saturday, August 11, 2012

Thats All Folks...or is it?

Two years ago when I set out on this journey to run a 5K, I figured this blog would be a kind of accountability.  See, I am a person of my word.  If I say I am going to do something I will do it.  Several times on this journey, I have wanted to just delete this blog and go away quietly without ever even signing up for a 5K.

Actually those thoughts were running through my head as I limped through The Color Run in Indianapolis July 28th.  Actually at one point I thought I just have to make it 2 more colors and then this whole journey will be over and done with.  I will never speak of it again.For those of you who aren't familiar with The Color Run, look it up.  Its slogan is "the happiest 5K on the planet" and I have to say I agree.  With each kilometer, participants are greeted by several people holding ketchup bottles full of a colored cornstarch powder that they throw at you.  It sounds kind of brutal but everyone was very nice and not pelting you in the face as you go by.  Although, my sister did say I had a blue Hitler like mustache and blue teeth thorough most of the run.

The excitement of standing there with that many people getting ready to do something you never thought you would even attempt is amazing.  I actually shed a few tears in line waiting to start the run.  The excitement quickly ended for me as I started out jogging and quickly found out how unprepared I was for the pavement.  Almost immediately I began to feel like my feet were on fire and my legs were going to break like rubber bands.  So I quickly backed off and realized, I wasn't running this 5K.
I am harder on myself than most people and I began to hear the voices in my head that I could not do it and never would.  That I had wasted the last two years thinking I could do this when my body wasn't about to let me.  I thought lets just get it over with.  I am still proud to say I finished.  I couldn't be more blessed by the team that went with me that consisted of my sister and her husband, two of their daughters and a family friend.   God bless my sister (who never planned on running) for hanging back with me.  She could have left me in the dust several times, but she faithfully stayed by my side.

I actually said to her, maybe running wasn't for us during the 5K.  "biking she said, maybe we should bike?"  No that just makes my ass hurt thinking about it.  I once had a bike with butt pads that still didn't help the situation.  You know me bony butt, chubby front.  I invented the fat transfer YEARS before I found out they actually offer that up at plastic surgeons.  If I could just suck it out of my gut and put it in my butt things would be great.  Of course I wouldn't want all my front in my butt, that would make even Sir Mix a Lot think red beans and rice should have missed me.  I could give the excess to the plastic surgeons to use as filler on the Hollywood A-listers.  So every time I saw an actress with a pair of lips like the back end of a baboon in heat I could think, "hmm, wonder if she is sporting some of my excess chub!  Wow, did I just digress.  Back to the 5K experience.

 The rest of The Chubby Runners had finished before us, but when we came around to the finish line there they were.   I asked them if they had finished and they actually said, "we came as a team and we will finish as a team"  What an amazing group for me to experience this with.  I will be forever grateful for each of them. 

So I did it.  I can shut this blog down and move on to new things.  However, I can't give it up.  Call me bull-headed, determined or just plain stupid, but I knew the next morning this wasn't the end.  I know that I will be back next year to do this again.  I am just crazy enough to say I will return until I can run the entire thing.   I  know what to expect now and what it will take from me.  The fear is gone.  The anticipation of the unexpected is gone.  But one thing remains, my sheer will and determination to continue on this journey.

Maybe someday, I will be such a fitness guru that I will have to change the name of this blog but for now, The Chubby Runner will remain.  If nothing else, I hope I have encouraged people...or at least made you smile every now and then.