Sunday, August 14, 2011

Do you smell that?

I get up early most mornings. This allows me to wake up and drink a pot of coffee (yea, I said a pot, don't judge me) before I have to be a mom. Being that I don't watch a lot of T.V. besides kids programs or sports, (because I have kids and a husband) I sometimes try to find something I am interested in. Most of the time I am up so early it is all about infomercials.

This morning I started with why Cindy Crawford looks so good at 43. Of course it is her moisturizer that some dermatologist from France or somewhere developed with a secret ingredient. I quickly turned that one. I mean I am 40, I have never looked like Cindy Crawford, and I am old enough not to fall for that one anymore. Oh the money, I have wasted on lies.

So I only listened to that for a minute or two. Then I channel surfed across a product I had never heard of before. Nasal Soft Strips. This is the description from the website: Nasal Soft Strips are small strips that bend comfortably to the bottom (septum) of your nose and deliver specific essential oils and vapors that are known to have health benefits. They were basically talking about using them for appetite control. They boasted that wearing it only 2 minutes signaled to you brain that you were not hungry for up to 4 hours.

So, prepare yourself, here goes my chubby girl rant! Most overweight people are NOT eating only when they are hungry. If that was the case they probably would not be overweight. So I guess the idea of "appetite suppressant" has never made sense to me. So imagine my thoughts when I see a piece of paper that you put in your nose that looks like a paper nose ring and I guess drive around town (now you're not only fat you look like an idiot) and I just have to say, I don't care if that piece of paper smells like a monkey's ass, if there is a Krispy Creme doughnut on the counter and I want it I am eating it. So that is all I have to say about that. I feel so much better now.

Oh, I also discovered I have found my true calling. I want to be an infomercial actress. I love how they "overact" all their expressions. TOO funny...wonder how much they get paid??!!