I'll take a basket of onion rings please!!

Today I woke up groggy in a strange place. Due to some home repairs we have relocated for a few days. After my initial "where am I" thought, my next thought was, "I'm still going to be fat this summer" SIGH! I find myself in a place of total diet frustration. Its a familiar place for me. I also wondered how many times I woke up with food on my mind. What should I eat today? Not because I am hungry, but because I have laid in bed many mornings wondering...should I eat low fat today?...or low carb...or a fast? how about a 3 day fast? I could just drink juice or eat just fruits and veggies??!! Let me just say I AM EXHAUSTED!!!! I have been training seriously for the 5k for 3 weeks and I have gained weight. I know what you are thinking! "well, what have you been eating?! Well no more than I was 3 weeks ago with NO EXERCISE!!!!

I have to tell you I am becoming an angry fat girl. I am starting to "totally dislike" (I would use the word hate but my mama always told me thats a strong word) people who "on a whim" decide to do some exercise a couple times a week and drop 4 dress sizes. I find it extremely irritating that someone can give up "fast food" and drop 20 lbs. REALLY? And don't give me that crap about parking your car farther away from the shopping mall, and taking the stairs and giving up regular pop or replacing one meal a day with a protein shake!!!! DONE IT ALL. STILL FAT! I must go up the stairs 30 times a day.

Yesterday, I caught a commercial for the weight loss drug Alli. I actually considered it and I am totally anti drug for weight loss. I mean eventually you have to stop taking the drug and then you gain the weight back right? I believe Alli is the one that gives you, "greasy gas". Yep, like when you "pass wind" as my aunt used to say, you leave a greasy stain in your pants!!! I don't know if its true, but I was desperate enough to ponder the thought for a minute. I mean come on people, I am so desperate to lose a few lbs (ok a lot more than a few) that I would be willing to take a drug that possibly would leave my pants looking like the soaked piece of paper at the bottom of an onion ring basket? This craziness has to stop.

I seriously wished I would have never put all this out for everyone to read. Then I could just go hide in the closet with a 6 pack of Yoo hoo and some Reeses peanut butter cups and be left alone.
But I wanted some accountability. If I know others are watching, I thought I would "do better". Like when you have to be put on the scale each week at a Weight Watchers meeting. You have "pressure" to do better. That donut you are about to eat will show up on the scale and you will feel the embarrassment as the 'weigher"writes down your weight.

Oh well, sorry for the rant. One day, I am going to carry around a paper and pen and write down every thought that goes through my head in a day....then you would all KNOW I am crazy

Oh, before I forget, the Poo-Pourri has my vote. I took it to my family's Easter celebration and was disappointed when no one has "to go". Every time someone headed to the bathroom I was like, "you gotta poo?" I wanted to share my latest find with everyone. I know that I will feel a lot more confident with that little spray bottle in my purse.

Deja Poo and Zumba too!!

Really, I wish I could be one of those people who make money from testing out products and giving their feedback. I'm always on the lookout for new things, new cleaning products, new make-up, new recipes. This week I was introduced to two new things. Poo-Pourri and Zumba.

First I will discuss Zumba. It is a crazy dance workout that is supposed to burn 1000 calories an hour. Well, I purchased the Zumba workout for the Wii. I tried it last night. Let me just say, first of all, I have lost my rhythm and range of motion. Or I never had either. I think I could burn 1000 calories just flinging myself around trying to learn the motions. My baby who sat in her bouncy seat watching found it entertaining. Another plus for a busy mom of two, you have to keep them entertained. Anyway, I really liked it and it was fun. However, I would never attempt it in public. I've seen the infomercials for Zumba with the classes packed full of people. Let me just say that I would be the one that everyone stepped back and watched. But not because of my fancy dance moves. Because I would be clearing a path all around me trying to go the right way. This next product could be life changing for me. I hope you're not offended by this subject...BUT I JUST GOTTA do it. First let me just say, there is an actual book out there called, "Everybody Poops". But I am a closet pooper. No I don't poop in my closets. I refuse to go anywhere but home. I falsely believe I have trained my body not to go once I walk outside my door and I can honestly say it hasn't happened. I actually told my husband once at a store when I had a disturbing rumbling belly ache..."if I come up missing, I will be in the car, pooping my pants" Oh yeah, I'm that crazy about it. I actually get embarrassed when other people have to poo in public. I have actually almost peed my pants because I have walked into a public bathroom where someone had left such a smell, I ran out before anyone would even consider I had done it. So now with that background, you will know why I find this next product so appealing. It is called Poo-Pourri. It is a product that claims to create a film on the surface of the toilet that will not allow stinky poo smells to enter the air. There are different types you can buy with names like Deja Poo, Heavy Doody, Oh! My Goodness, and my personal favorite Trap a Crap. You can say what you want, but the "courtesy flush" really doesn't work. Its too late. I've always wondering how you can be flushing and the very moment you make your first "deposit" and the smell lingers. Seriously, I was so excited to find out about this. Not only for myself but for all the people I know suffer with IBS or a spastic colon. This product (if it truly works) should be in EVERY bathroom in America. Because no one wants to smell someone elses poo. I know everyone does it. I know its a healthy bodily function. I just don't want to smell it. So there I said it. I plan on ordering some of this stuff and trying it out. I will let you know if it works. Heck, if it does work, I just may show up on your door step and ask to use your bathroom.